So last night my Woman and my Boy had pizza. She said that because the day before was my 2-week ampuversary and we didn’t do anything special, we would have a pawty last night. I had gone to the v-e-t and found that I am losing weight on my diet, so it seemed the perfect time for pizza! Evelyn and I split a slice. It wasn’t enough and we told my Woman that, but she acted like she didn’t hear. In fact, when Evelyn got right up in her grille to tell her about it, my Woman pushed Evelyn away and told her “bugger off.” That’s not very nice.
I took over then and rammed my head into my Woman’s leg over and over, trying to get her attention. She said “you’re getting back to your obnoxious self, Dakota” and told me to lay down. That’s not very nice either.
Then today I remembered that it’s almost the end of February, but it’s still February. We all know what February is, right? Girl Scout Cookie Time! I found where they’d hidden the cookies, and Evelyn and I both tried to get it open, but then my Woman saw us and took the box. Turns out my Man bought them this year and he only bought what he likes, which are Thin Mints. Well, we can’t have those because of the chocolate. My stupid Woman got us some crunchies, like she thought that would be any kind of acceptable substitute. I ate mine, but I also made a rude gesture behind her back.
When I first had my leg stolen by stealth and extreme ninja skills, my Woman was putting yummy squishy food on top of the hard stuff. She started slowly taking that away last week. I noticed. I did. But without opposable thumbs, there’s not much I can do about it. Now Evelyn and I both get chicken broth on our hard stuff. And my Woman told my Man last week that when this hard stuff is gone, she isn’t going to buy any more of it. She said she’s going to start vomiting on us! I mean, oh my dog! This woman I trained so well to be my perfect Woman is going to hurl on me! So when she barfs on me the first time, I’m going to put out a bulletin here and ask for a new family. If anyone else out there is getting barfed on, please speak up before it’s too late! If we join together, we can stop this madness. She even said it with a smile on her face. I need a new Woman.
Yummmm…. BARF!
LOL!
Well, we will keep an eye out for you 🙂
Elizabeth and Sammy
Let me get this straight. Your mom is going to barf on you because she has to serve you the hard stuff?? Or because she’s putting chicken broth on it? Or because she can only tolerate the yummy squishy stuff?? Crickey! Tell her just feed you pizza and be done with it.
Madness indeed!
You can come like with us in the arctic if you like. Evelyn may have trouble getting through the snow drifts; you may have to pull her on a sled.
Of course, that should be LIVE with us.
CatiesMom,
Beats the heck out of me. I just live here. But yeah, if she throws up on me I will call you up. Snow’s no problem. We live in the snow, too. And Evelyn can just haul her own sorry you-know-what. In fact, she can break trail. She ate my bed. She owes me.
Sammy’s Mom, I can live with you, too. Where do you live? Maybe I can live with you in winter and then with Catie in summer. That’s sounding like a good idea.
Love, D.
What a creative blog site! Dakota – you should be proud! Sounds like you’re doing great!!
Oh wow. Love the new blog page, Shari and Dakota!!
Carmen, isn’t this great? I found it as one of the options and thought it was really nice. Somewhat chaotic, like my life, but with all these nifty little tabs and doohickeys right here. Glad you like it!
Hey maybe she’ll barf up the really good, dog-friendly Girl Scout cookies!