News Flash: I learned to play, & we’re all idiots here

I am 10 1/2 years old and I don’t play. I have never played with toys. I have never chased a ball. I think a whole lot of years ago I halfheartedly ran after a stick a few times, but when I got to it I thought “What’s the point?” and broke off the chase. I think I was filled with teenage angst or something. My Boy says I’m emo.

But tonight, I played! And it was fun! My Woman was hiding in the office on her hands and knees (like a moron, really) and acting like she was going to get us. She was whacking the floor and then ducking back inside the office. Evelyn was acting like an idiot, of course, thinking this was grand. But guess what? I suddenly had this irristible urge to join in. I started yipping at my Woman when she peeked around the doorway. I used my most annoying yip. Then I started wagging really hard and couldn’t wait for her to peek around the door again. It was really rather delightful!

The Woman started singing the Goofy Goober song from SpongeBob, and I wagged again. I just couldn’t help myself. So I guess we’re all idiots around here tonight. And it was fun! When we stopped all the nonsense, I did my combat crawl over to my Woman and we snuggled. That was nice, too. Until she said I don’t smell so good and need a bath. Maybe tomorrow I can find something dead outside and fix that. Just for her.