News Flash: I learned to play, & we’re all idiots here

I am 10 1/2 years old and I don’t play. I have never played with toys. I have never chased a ball. I think a whole lot of years ago I halfheartedly ran after a stick a few times, but when I got to it I thought “What’s the point?” and broke off the chase. I think I was filled with teenage angst or something. My Boy says I’m emo.

But tonight, I played! And it was fun! My Woman was hiding in the office on her hands and knees (like a moron, really) and acting like she was going to get us. She was whacking the floor and then ducking back inside the office. Evelyn was acting like an idiot, of course, thinking this was grand. But guess what? I suddenly had this irristible urge to join in. I started yipping at my Woman when she peeked around the doorway. I used my most annoying yip. Then I started wagging really hard and couldn’t wait for her to peek around the door again. It was really rather delightful!

The Woman started singing the Goofy Goober song from SpongeBob, and I wagged again. I just couldn’t help myself. So I guess we’re all idiots around here tonight. And it was fun! When we stopped all the nonsense, I did my combat crawl over to my Woman and we snuggled. That was nice, too. Until she said I don’t smell so good and need a bath. Maybe tomorrow I can find something dead outside and fix that. Just for her.

i was good!

hey guess what? this time it was not my fawlt! momma even sed so! she took me to the male box. i even had my leesh on this time. on the way back there was this little dog that i did not know. the little dog was a bitchin frisbee. that is what my pop calls it. momma sed oh no do not say that. it is a bichon frisee. she spelld it for me. anyway, the bitchin frisbee tried to jump on me. it made ugly face at me and ugly noise. i was good. i backed up. i thought she was a ugly dog. i don’t want to be her fren now. there. i’m done.

-evelyn

Lazy or loyal? You decide.

At my post.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shari here, taking the wheel from Dakota for a minute. This is what we come home to whenever we’ve been out. Every single time. Dakota can be a royal PITA at times with his quirks and fears and oddities, but when I come home and this is the first thing I see it can almost bring tears to my eyes. 

Well, when they stopped the car and brought me into the car and into their lives, I wanted to do something in return. I can’t do much but I can watch. I can wait. I can let them know that the most important thing to me is when they open that door and come back. That’s all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i’m gonna get a train ride!

i heard my momma lady talkin to my pop and gess what? i’m gonna get a train ride! a lady name diane is gonna take me. i heard my momma lady say so. she say hey diane evelyn needs to do that train stuff. so i get a train ride.

Dakota here. Evelyn is an idiot. Diane is not a train conductor. She’s a dog trainer. Evelyn is going to boot camp with the Woman.

so i dunno where the train will ride me to but it will be very citing and speshul. i hope i get to go toot toot toot on that horny thing.

Geez, she’s in for a rough landing from la-la land, isn’t she? You want to tell her, or should I?

nuther thing. my momma lady and my pop are taking a big car ride on monday. they is goin to some hot springs. no dogs can go. but we get a baby sitter and her name is linda. momma showed linda where she keeps the cookies and i will say we get 5 a day.

I don’t think Linda speaks our language. I think when my Woman leaves that note that says we can have one a day, we’re getting one a day. Again…you want to tell her, or should I?

so dat’s all the big news from here. i will send you a post card from my train ride! bye bye! all board! tickets pleeze! oh is so citing!

Good grief. 

oh here is a pitcher of me sleepin in the dining room. it is my favorite room.

 

 

I got high with a little help from my friends

This is your dog.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is your dog on drugs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And this is your dog on drugs after surgery to remove a tooth that was broken off by the worst roommate in the world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am ok. I am on drugs. I am too wasted to write more. I will write more later. That is all.