how to be a PITA, by me evelyn

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my momma lady and i wuz talkin. well, she did all the talkin. i am a bery good lissner. i don’t do what she sez but i lissen. i am not a bery good doer. there is a diffrence. i am digressing.

momma lady sed hey evelyn you are such a good pain in the ass you should give lessons. and i thawt that wuz a grate idea! i can give any tripawds lessons on how to be the bery best pain in the ass! what do you think?

here is my rezume vitay sperience qualifikashuns how come:

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i sniffed the grandpup all the time and violated her privacy.

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i sniffed her pants a lot cuz they wuz nice.

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when my pop would go pee i would get in his warm spot and then i would pretend i could not hear him say move over.

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i did it a lot.

 
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i also took up too much room on the couch. my momma lady sed i oozed into her territory.

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i did not respect the peeple boundries.

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i made the sad eyes when the dishwasher was open cuz i hoped they would let me lick the plates. i wuz in the way all the dam time. that is what my momma lady sed.

so there you go! call me if you want lessons. i give them for free and i am vailable all the time!

love, evelyn

 

 

 


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One year gone

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Dear Dakota,

A year ago today we lost you. And we really lost you. It doesn’t seem like a year, even though a lot has happened. But the loss of you is still pretty big. I’ve lost other dogs, D, which you know–but your absence has felt bigger to me. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to decide why that is. I think it’s because of what I felt from the start: You got cheated. You had more years in you and you didn’t get to use them. And I got cheated out of you.

I am still satisfied with your life. You had a wonderful life and I know that. I know absolutely that we took good care of you and that you had a ball. For all but the last year of your life you had 38 acres to explore, and you marked every inch. You had your precious meadow that was your private playground, and you policed it mercilessly, keeping every rabbit, field mouse and vole in line. And when we moved and gave up acres, you gained territory with more rabbits. You had a good life.

You had a Man who rescued you, who didn’t blink over how much lopping off your leg would cost, who said repeatedly that you were family. You had a Boy who intrigued you and provided you with things to wonder about. And you had other dogs to love on. You had Evelyn to love, and she had you to absolutely worship. And you had me.

And I still miss you. I wish you were still here tripping me at the top of the stairs so I could cuss you. You were a pain in the ass in many respects but you were my sidekick and the nicest pain in the ass I’ve ever known.

Love,

Your Woman