i do not like spaw days

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hi everypawdy! i think it has been a long time since i writed here but i have been bizzy. i sleep so much you knoe. but i had this awful day and i wanted you all to knoe how mean my momma lady is cuz she made the day awful. she sed it was a spaw day. liar.

i can read minds. i readed momma lady’s mind. sometimes she goes into the bafroom and i follow her and wonder what she is doing. and sometimes she goes into the bafroom and i jus knoe she wants to give me a baf. i just knoe it! so that is what happened. i readed her mind and i started shaking and she started laffing. i hated her. i got flat on the floor and turned into a cement block and then she was not laffing. i showed her. but i still had a baf. damn her.

ennyway, she had more tricks. she took me to the v-e-t. i knoe what that is. i can spell. i am akshully a bery good speller. she put me in the car and i readed her mind agin. i was shaky and shaky and shaky at the v-e-t. but gess what? i losted 5 pounds since december! that is horrible! i am not eating enuff and i try to tell her that! she will not lissen to me.

the v-e-t is ok. but i was still scared. and then the most worse thing happened. the door opened to the room and 2 wimmen came in and they tried to use a noisy thing on my nales. they tried to grind them. and i almost broked my legs getting away. so then they went and got big cutting things and they held me down. and momma lady helped hold me down. and i grumbled and made a lot of noise. i was saying so many f-words. and they did not lissen. momma lady got close to me and sed i was good and she was proud of me and i just cussed and cussed. and she is still a liar.

a fat lot of good it did me. they cut off my nales.

i got back at my momma lady tho. she took me to the hardware store and i pooped on the floor.

that is all.

love, evelyn

2014-04-04 17.47.23


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evvie and obie sittin in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g

Tripawds is a user-supported community. Thank you for your support!

last year i sent my boyfren oberon a token of my infekshun affekshun. i sent him a lil red hart to wear on his coller. well gess what? at crismuss i got a present in the mail and it was from him! i think we are gaged now and maybe will get married!

isn’t this so bery citing? i am cited. are you? course you are! you all love me so much so you are cited for me!

everybody calls him obie but his reel name is oberon and that’s what i call him. his momma lady is momma karen who lived with spirit maggie the tripug. now momma karen lives with oberon and tani. and i am in love with oberon!

so here is what i got. i am such a bery lucky woman. a handsome boyfren and being in love. thank you oberon. you are so sweet.

the citing package!
the citing package!
see? from him to me!
see? from him to me!
aah! it is so dorable! this is the girl side.
aah! it is so dorable! this is the girl side.
here is the dorable boy side.
here is the dorable boy side.
and here is the best part!
and here is the best part!
i will be honest with you. it was too much citement so i needed to rest after. love is exhausting.
i will be honest with you. it was too much citement so i needed to rest after. love is exhausting.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

how to be a PITA, by me evelyn

my momma lady and i wuz talkin. well, she did all the talkin. i am a bery good lissner. i don’t do what she sez but i lissen. i am not a bery good doer. there is a diffrence. i am digressing.

momma lady sed hey evelyn you are such a good pain in the ass you should give lessons. and i thawt that wuz a grate idea! i can give any tripawds lessons on how to be the bery best pain in the ass! what do you think?

here is my rezume vitay sperience qualifikashuns how come:

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i sniffed the grandpup all the time and violated her privacy.

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i sniffed her pants a lot cuz they wuz nice.

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when my pop would go pee i would get in his warm spot and then i would pretend i could not hear him say move over.

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i did it a lot.

 
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i also took up too much room on the couch. my momma lady sed i oozed into her territory.

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i did not respect the peeple boundries.

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i made the sad eyes when the dishwasher was open cuz i hoped they would let me lick the plates. i wuz in the way all the dam time. that is what my momma lady sed.

so there you go! call me if you want lessons. i give them for free and i am vailable all the time!

love, evelyn

 

 

 

scaring the humans is fun!

the other nite i scared the humans. it was a lot of fun! we all went to bed. then i started coffing and choking. i did it on purpus. my momma lady getted out of her warm bed and watched me and talked to me and paid a lot of tention to me. i liked it. so i kept doing it. i hid from her, though, and she could not see my face and that made her worried. she opened my mouth to see if something was stuck in my throte but i did not like that. it made me barf some.

my momma lady taked me outside and i paced and paced and pretended to be rilly uncumftra, um, not feeling good. i don’t knoe how to spell it, but i pretended good. so she put me in the car and taked me to the mergency v-e-t. ┬ámy plan backfired. i did not want to do that. i only wanted pets and kisses.

i was so nervus at the mergency v-e-t. shaky shaky shaky. slobbers all over the place. i had a miracle! i made the coffing stop. they still taked a picture of my lungs and neck. they said i looked fine. now please pay $250. then they say if you wanna leave her we can watch her and you can pay more money. my momma lady said no thanks i can watch her for free.

so now i am a mystery. cept my momma lady is pretty sure i was pretending and went too far. i can’t tell. if i do, i mite get in trubble.

that was my intresting nite. how was yours?

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love, evelyn