i do not like spaw days

hi everypawdy! i think it has been a long time since i writed here but i have been bizzy. i sleep so much you knoe. but i had this awful day and i wanted you all to knoe how mean my momma lady is cuz she made the day awful. she sed it was a spaw day. liar.

i can read minds. i readed momma lady’s mind. sometimes she goes into the bafroom and i follow her and wonder what she is doing. and sometimes she goes into the bafroom and i jus knoe she wants to give me a baf. i just knoe it! so that is what happened. i readed her mind and i started shaking and she started laffing. i hated her. i got flat on the floor and turned into a cement block and then she was not laffing. i showed her. but i still had a baf. damn her.

ennyway, she had more tricks. she took me to the v-e-t. i knoe what that is. i can spell. i am akshully a bery good speller. she put me in the car and i readed her mind agin. i was shaky and shaky and shaky at the v-e-t. but gess what? i losted 5 pounds since december! that is horrible! i am not eating enuff and i try to tell her that! she will not lissen to me.

the v-e-t is ok. but i was still scared. and then the most worse thing happened. the door opened to the room and 2 wimmen came in and they tried to use a noisy thing on my nales. they tried to grind them. and i almost broked my legs getting away. so then they went and got big cutting things and they held me down. and momma lady helped hold me down. and i grumbled and made a lot of noise. i was saying so many f-words. and they did not lissen. momma lady got close to me and sed i was good and she was proud of me and i just cussed and cussed. and she is still a liar.

a fat lot of good it did me. they cut off my nales.

i got back at my momma lady tho. she took me to the hardware store and i pooped on the floor.

that is all.

love, evelyn

2014-04-04 17.47.23

Author: evelyn

my tripawd was Dakota. we had fun and i miss him. I like food. lots.

9 thoughts on “i do not like spaw days”

  1. Oh, Evelyn. You are just too wonderful!

    I hate having my nales cut, too, but I do like the bath.

    Love, Murphy

    1. Maybe you can give her some tips on how to tolerate baths better, Murphy. Oh wait…you’re a lab! Of course you love baths! I don’t think Ev will ever have a lab’s love for water, Murphy.

  2. Oh Evelyn, Jazz doesn’t like to have her toe nails cut anymore since she hurt her foot. So I am going to try Rescue Remedy. They had a spa day the other day. They didn’t like it very well.

    Michelle & Angel Sassy

  3. Evelyn Doreen, you are so naturally beautiful that I can’t believe your momma lady even thought you needed a bath! But, I guess we all have to take a bath every now and again just for good measure. I’m so glad you survived that ordeal, and hopefully all is normal in your life once again!

  4. EVELYN!! You articulated your feelings PERFECTLY!! You took “potty mouth” to a whole new levelof adoravle!

    I ave to say, I thinkmit’s the first time I’ve actually chuckled out loud for quite a bit! Well…more like laughing out loud!

    Shari, …er……Evelyn, this is comic relief personified!! REALLY, this needs to be printed in”BARK Magazine” or “Cesar’s Way”..or The Wall Street Journal!

    Now Evelyn, after everything our “Mommy Dearest” put you through, to think she’s not feeding you enough on to of everything else is just awful!! Yo MIST demand ice cream and chocolate and lots of M&M’s!

    Thanks Shari! This is brilliant…..and sooo true from Evely’s perspective! Spot-on!

    Much love and gratitide for the smiles,

    Sally and Happy Hannah

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