2 years already

Dear Dakota,

I have dreaded this day all month, and I have dreaded this month all year. December has never been high on my list of faves, and you certainly sealed that opinion when you charged off over the bridge in December. It has now been two years since you raced on without us. (There is a bridge, isn’t there? Please for the love of all that’s holy tell me that there is.)

I miss you.

You got the last laugh, DD. It actually didn’t take me long to realize that, even as dense as I can be. For 10 years you listened to me tell people that you were not the dog of my heart (oh no), you were the pity pup–the one we took home because we couldn’t bear to drive by and leave it in the road. After all, once someone holds you in their lap in a dirty ditch and cries over you, how can they possibly leave you? A pity pup for sure. But a heart dog? No, you’d not ever be my heart dog.

And then you were.

And so you laugh. I’m pretty sure of that. But the gentleman jerk that you were probably only chuckles a tad. You were never one to rub anything in too hard. You were the forgiver, the peacemaker (unless it was a strange dog, of course), the snuggler, the shy and sly willing-to-come-last devotee. You were my satellite, and I was your sun. You put me at your center, a place I knew full well that you put me, but a place I knew I really did not deserve to be.

And all the while, you self-consciously and gently led, and led, and led some more. And I got less stupid.

Buddy boy, let me tell you what I’ve learned: You were the master and I was the grasshopper. Well played, my friend. Well played.

Love,

Your Woman

007

i do not like spaw days

hi everypawdy! i think it has been a long time since i writed here but i have been bizzy. i sleep so much you knoe. but i had this awful day and i wanted you all to knoe how mean my momma lady is cuz she made the day awful. she sed it was a spaw day. liar.

i can read minds. i readed momma lady’s mind. sometimes she goes into the bafroom and i follow her and wonder what she is doing. and sometimes she goes into the bafroom and i jus knoe she wants to give me a baf. i just knoe it! so that is what happened. i readed her mind and i started shaking and she started laffing. i hated her. i got flat on the floor and turned into a cement block and then she was not laffing. i showed her. but i still had a baf. damn her.

ennyway, she had more tricks. she took me to the v-e-t. i knoe what that is. i can spell. i am akshully a bery good speller. she put me in the car and i readed her mind agin. i was shaky and shaky and shaky at the v-e-t. but gess what? i losted 5 pounds since december! that is horrible! i am not eating enuff and i try to tell her that! she will not lissen to me.

the v-e-t is ok. but i was still scared. and then the most worse thing happened. the door opened to the room and 2 wimmen came in and they tried to use a noisy thing on my nales. they tried to grind them. and i almost broked my legs getting away. so then they went and got big cutting things and they held me down. and momma lady helped hold me down. and i grumbled and made a lot of noise. i was saying so many f-words. and they did not lissen. momma lady got close to me and sed i was good and she was proud of me and i just cussed and cussed. and she is still a liar.

a fat lot of good it did me. they cut off my nales.

i got back at my momma lady tho. she took me to the hardware store and i pooped on the floor.

that is all.

love, evelyn

2014-04-04 17.47.23

That hole you made

Dear Dakota,

She’s just not as good at it as you were, buddy. Look at the picture down there, dude. She’s simply not as good at it as you were.

In the first place, she doesn’t look up when we come inside. She’s so submissive, so she looks down and wiggles. You were submissive, too, but you lifted your head to look at us briefly. Little eye contact, of course, but we understood that about you.

And then there’s the tail issue. We could hear your mighty tail thumping all the way up the stairs, beating out a rhythm of welcome. She has no real tail, nothing to make noise with.

Don’t get me wrong–we love her as much as you did and we are taking very good care of her. She’s your baby, after all. But she’s not you. Nobody else is you. And now, 2 days short of 15 months after you hustled out of our lives, I still get tears in my eyes thinking about you, especially about your departure. Anyway, I love you, sweet potato.

If I’d known how much of my heart you would take when you left, would I have let you knit yourself into the fabric of my heart so tightly that your absence would unravel so much? I would. It’s mending, sweet boy.  And it was worth it. All of it and then some. We’d stop the car again. We’d make the long ride home again. We’d take the leg again. You were really never any trouble at all, DD.

Love,

Your Woman

2013-10-03 17.19.25

evvie and obie sittin in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g

last year i sent my boyfren oberon a token of my infekshun affekshun. i sent him a lil red hart to wear on his coller. well gess what? at crismuss i got a present in the mail and it was from him! i think we are gaged now and maybe will get married!

isn’t this so bery citing? i am cited. are you? course you are! you all love me so much so you are cited for me!

everybody calls him obie but his reel name is oberon and that’s what i call him. his momma lady is momma karen who lived with spirit maggie the tripug. now momma karen lives with oberon and tani. and i am in love with oberon!

so here is what i got. i am such a bery lucky woman. a handsome boyfren and being in love. thank you oberon. you are so sweet.

the citing package!
the citing package!
see? from him to me!
see? from him to me!
aah! it is so dorable! this is the girl side.
aah! it is so dorable! this is the girl side.
here is the dorable boy side.
here is the dorable boy side.
and here is the best part!
and here is the best part!
i will be honest with you. it was too much citement so i needed to rest after. love is exhausting.
i will be honest with you. it was too much citement so i needed to rest after. love is exhausting.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

how to be a PITA, by me evelyn

my momma lady and i wuz talkin. well, she did all the talkin. i am a bery good lissner. i don’t do what she sez but i lissen. i am not a bery good doer. there is a diffrence. i am digressing.

momma lady sed hey evelyn you are such a good pain in the ass you should give lessons. and i thawt that wuz a grate idea! i can give any tripawds lessons on how to be the bery best pain in the ass! what do you think?

here is my rezume vitay sperience qualifikashuns how come:

001009

i sniffed the grandpup all the time and violated her privacy.

023

i sniffed her pants a lot cuz they wuz nice.

001

when my pop would go pee i would get in his warm spot and then i would pretend i could not hear him say move over.

2013-11-20 07.24.29

i did it a lot.

 
006

i also took up too much room on the couch. my momma lady sed i oozed into her territory.

002

i did not respect the peeple boundries.

2013-12-19 08.41.18

i made the sad eyes when the dishwasher was open cuz i hoped they would let me lick the plates. i wuz in the way all the dam time. that is what my momma lady sed.

so there you go! call me if you want lessons. i give them for free and i am vailable all the time!

love, evelyn