i had a bizzy bizzy day and i am so tired! i had a venture and went in the car. but the morning was not so good. i wuz sleepin just fine and then my momma lady called me.
when she calls me from the kichen or the living room, i am happy. when she calls me down the hallway, i get nervus. when she calls me from the bedroom, i run and hide. today she called me from the bedroom.
i wuz rite. there was a bery good reeson to hide. she did this.
after she dried me off, i did this.
after a little bit, my momma lady got the leesh. i was bery spishus because of the baff. i was afrade she was going to take me to the v-e-t. you know what? i was rite! dammit! i hate being rite. they put me on the scale again and said oh boy she has lost one haff a pound. i said so what. then we all went into a room and i got so scared. i shook and shook and could not stop. my momma lady got on the floor and kissed me and said sweet things but i still shook. they wanted my blood. they had a hard time finding it. i do have blood. i just like to keep it inside of me.
after the v-e-t, we got back in the car. my nervs were so nervus i did not think i could take any more. we got on the freeway and i did not like that. that ment we were not going home. but you know what? when we got off we went to this place with a funny doohicky sticking up out of the ground. momma shouted at it. i thought why is so so mad at that dookhicky? she yelled some more. then she drove off. but not for long. then she stopped and a arm came out of a window and gave momma a bag. it smelled incred, um, nice. and oh yes i got a treet!
sumbody put a burger in a bowl and then put some lettus in the bowl and then put a lid on it. i smelled it and then momma opened it and then i choked on it.
then i stared at my momma lady and made the big hungry eyes. it did not work.
then we went to pick up something at a warehouse and then we came home. and that was my bizzy bizzy day!
I am 10 1/2 years old and I don’t play. I have never played with toys. I have never chased a ball. I think a whole lot of years ago I halfheartedly ran after a stick a few times, but when I got to it I thought “What’s the point?” and broke off the chase. I think I was filled with teenage angst or something. My Boy says I’m emo.
But tonight, I played! And it was fun! My Woman was hiding in the office on her hands and knees (like a moron, really) and acting like she was going to get us. She was whacking the floor and then ducking back inside the office. Evelyn was acting like an idiot, of course, thinking this was grand. But guess what? I suddenly had this irristible urge to join in. I started yipping at my Woman when she peeked around the doorway. I used my most annoying yip. Then I started wagging really hard and couldn’t wait for her to peek around the door again. It was really rather delightful!
The Woman started singing the Goofy Goober song from SpongeBob, and I wagged again. I just couldn’t help myself. So I guess we’re all idiots around here tonight. And it was fun! When we stopped all the nonsense, I did my combat crawl over to my Woman and we snuggled. That was nice, too. Until she said I don’t smell so good and need a bath. Maybe tomorrow I can find something dead outside and fix that. Just for her.
i heard my momma lady talkin to my pop and gess what? i’m gonna get a train ride! a lady name diane is gonna take me. i heard my momma lady say so. she say hey diane evelyn needs to do that train stuff. so i get a train ride.
Dakota here. Evelyn is an idiot. Diane is not a train conductor. She’s a dog trainer. Evelyn is going to boot camp with the Woman.
so i dunno where the train will ride me to but it will be very citing and speshul. i hope i get to go toot toot toot on that horny thing.
Geez, she’s in for a rough landing from la-la land, isn’t she? You want to tell her, or should I?
nuther thing. my momma lady and my pop are taking a big car ride on monday. they is goin to some hot springs. no dogs can go. but we get a baby sitter and her name is linda. momma showed linda where she keeps the cookies and i will say we get 5 a day.
I don’t think Linda speaks our language. I think when my Woman leaves that note that says we can have one a day, we’re getting one a day. Again…you want to tell her, or should I?
so dat’s all the big news from here. i will send you a post card from my train ride! bye bye! all board! tickets pleeze! oh is so citing!
oh here is a pitcher of me sleepin in the dining room. it is my favorite room.
Recently I wasn’t feeling quite right. I don’t know why, but I was tired and not very interested in my food or in doing much. My Woman wrote about it here. She said I didn’t want to stand up to eat and I hadn’t eaten but a few bites in several days. Well guess what? I got a CARE package to help me want to eat again! It came from the Oaktown Pack! And I’m not even a German Shepherd. That is so cool!
The CARE package was made at the Paw Patch Pastry shop and it was full of the prettiest, cutest, tastiest bacon cookies you can imagine. Travis Ray said they are doggie crack, and I have no idea what that means but he is absolutely right! I am so cracked about these cookies! Thank you, thank you, thank you Travis, Austin, Codie, and even Smokey! And the Man and Woman, Ralph and Martha. You guys are pawesome!