Category: Uncategorized

February Furball celebrates 11 months!

I understand I am the member of a special club here called The February Furballs. I don’t know exactly how many members are in it, but I know these: Bellona, Lucky, Rio, Bud and me. We all had our legs stolen by stealth and magic in February 2011. We all were lured into a vehicle of some sort, taken to a V-E-T, enticed into taking a lovely nap and then woke to the magical goodness of having a leg missing. Of course, the whatever that made our legs hurt or gimpy or bad was gone, too. Added bonus, of course. Excuse me if I’m a wee bit cynical about that part. You see, my leg never hurt. I have seen the photos, though, and I admit it didn’t look good for my future.

So today I say happy, hippy, hoppy ampuversary to me! One more month and it will be a year. I hope my Woman is already sending out the invitations for the affair, and I hope all my Tripawd friends are running the lint brushes over their tuxes and spangly gowns, because February is going to be the month to pawty! After all, look at all the pawesome members who will be celebrating a whole ding-dang year with me!

I hope there is a big ol’ party table set up over the Bridge, too, because I have a lot of friends there who I want to celebrate with me today. Yesterday Abby made everyone really sad when she crossed the Bridge, but I’m thinking maybe she went in advance to make sure this damned party is done right. Abby has always been our go-to girl for all things sparkly and celebratory. I know she is making sure that Gayle doesn’t eat all the cheese and Catie puts down her stick and Ted brushes his hair and Chili and Bo and Tate dry off before coming to the table. There are so many over there partying, I can hear them laughing and playing when I dream. Can’t you?

Barney sucks at Blackjack

Because Evelyn and I are so digusted with Barney’s behavior and riot-inciting, he has had no one to play with. Today he found some kindred spirits in my Boy’s old Webkinz animals. He invited my Boy’s dogs–a pug, a bulldog and a dachshund–to play Blackjack. I thought the pug would be the better player (pugs, as we know, are smart cookies) but it was the bulldog that cleaned house. I’m sure it cheated.

As you can see, the bulldog (Bandit is his name) had all the quarters and a 21. The pug, Puku, is just too excitable to sit still and focus. Poster child for canine ADHD. And the dachshund, Oscar (you’ll figure it out), just hates cards. Bandit is a smarter bulldog than Evelyn, and I think that’s why Barney did so badly. He expected Evelyn’s brain to show up. Anyway, Barney sucks at Blackjack.

Evvie and Barney sittin’ in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!

I warned ’em. I told Evelyn and Barney that I would not tolerate any monkey business. I had to stay up pretty late to see what they were up to, but it was worth it.

I watched them snoring for awhile till they noticed me. Well, they didn’t notice me till they heard the camera click. They couldn’t even run after me. I think they had hangovers. I took the camera to my Woman, and she was not happy. At all. She knew Barney was a bad influence, but she found out just how bad he can be. My woman punished them both.

Barney Makes a Monkey out of Dakota

Here’s how it happened: I was watching “Die Hard” with the fam. It was at that great ‘yippie-ki-yay’ part we all love so much when I heard an astounding kerfuffle outside! It sounded like grinding and grating and rocks smashing and all kinds of awful stuff! We all looked at each other and my Woman said, “Someone has to go investigate.” Well, it was getting late and there was a bunch of snow and it was cold, so we did rock-paper-scissors to decide who’d go. I lost. (Paper’s pretty useless for almost anything.) I took the camera.

I knew what it was as soon as I saw it. Barney.  Sighing deeply and kicking myself in the butt for throwing down paper, I hauled the little bastard out and brought him inside. I dropped him into my Woman’s lap and went back to sleep. He was her problem now. She went outside and found the box he travels with. She dug around in there and found Angel Mackenzie’s Lakers scarf to wrap him in while he thawed out.

It didn’t take him long to defrost. He’s a cold-blooded little twerp, if you remember. I thought the decent thing to do was to say hello, get to know him, all that stuff. I thought maybe he was different from the way he’s been portrayed here. Right.

    

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Woman just happened to be there with the camera when I bared my teeth. This is what happened: Evelyn was chatting with Barney and he made a rude comment about my missing leg. I thought she made a little giggle. She swears she didn’t, but I dunno. Hence, the teeth-baring. What came next is…regrettable.

What came last was horrifying. My Woman said my behavior was, and I’ll quote, “more what is expected from a monkeybutt, so you can just be treated as if you are indeed a monkeybutt and wear Zephyr’s ears.” Thanks, Micki, for so thoughtfully including them in the Box From Hell.

 

I don’t know what will happen next. I am thinking, and planning. Tomorrow is a  new day, with new possibilities for…revenge.

Lazy, sleepy winter days

I have not had much to say lately. Winter has arrived and we are cold and snowy. I sleep a lot in front of the wood stove and explore around outside some. But there isn’t much excitement.

Evelyn and I did have a babysitter for two weeks but it was no big deal. She let us go sniff out the places that the rabbits hop around, just like my regular Woman does. She gave us some treats but not a whole lot because she was ordered  not to. She was an oddball and freaked out when it snowed. I thought she was nuts. It’s Colorado. It’s December. It’s 8300 feet in the air. WTH did she expect?

Anyway, no real news so I’ll just say “catch ya later, alligators!”